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Which is your favorite personality type to be around?  The People Factor: It’s All About Energy                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        By Sarah Kathleen Peck Ever been at a party and felt like you were completely exhausted? That you couldn’t stand to keep your eyes open for another minute, actoplus met in canada even though it was supposed to be an amazing party? Likewise, actoplus met in canada have you ever stayed up almost all night, actoplus met in canada focused and driven, actoplus met in canada surrounded by brilliant people and creative ideas? Energy comes in limited quantities. It is finite, actoplus met in canada it waxes and wanes, actoplus met in canada and it grows or diminishes based on what you are doing and who you are surrounded with. What dictates our energy? How do we capture these spaces that help us be amazing, actoplus met in canada and remove the events and things that deplete our energy? There are people, actoplus met in canada places and things that make me feel like I’m building my energy stores, actoplus met in canada that rejuvenate me, actoplus met in canada and help me to do my best work. Likewise, actoplus met in canada there are also people and places that zap my energy; that leave me exhausted; that make me feel as though I’ve waste my time and my energy – and my day – without getting anything useful done. While brainstorming in a coffee shop with a dear friend, actoplus met in canada we both asked each other how to deal with these different personality types as they come into our lives. People are exceptional – they are our number one resource – but not all people are helpful at any given project or time. How do you make decisions about how you spend your time – and who you hang out with? And more importantly, actoplus met in canada how do you say no to people and things that zap your energy reserves? Together, actoplus met in canada we made a map of the different types of people in our lives, actoplus met in canada and agreed that we would consciously try to say no to hanging out with people that didn’t help us in our long-term goals – or in our energy management. This system isn’t just about eliminating “Negative Nancys” and “Debbie Downers” (although every effort should be made to reduce their presence in your life). Understanding how people affect you means that you can do a better job matching what you need at any given moment to what your energy requires. Sometimes I don’t need to be around excited people. Actoplus met in canada Sometimes I just need another balanced philosopher to do and create my best work. And sometimes I need to be more judicious about reducing the time I spend with people who don’t match my energy. On the energy spectrum, actoplus met in canada here are the ranges of personality types – from high, actoplus met in canada positive energy, actoplus met in canada to balanced and stable individuals, actoplus met in canada to strong negative energy. Do you identify with any of the following energy personality types? How do you bring these different personas into your world? And do you pay attention to how people make you feel?

The Positives

  • Buzzers. These are my excited electrons. Actoplus met in canada People who are so thrilled to be around other people and in the world, actoplus met in canada talking with them is like getting a burst of inspiration. Actoplus met in canada When I wake up in the morning, actoplus met in canada a phone call with them is better than coffee. Actoplus met in canada They are my muses, actoplus met in canada my inspirations, actoplus met in canada my creatives. Actoplus met in canada Like coffee, actoplus met in canada however, actoplus met in canada I can’t drink it nonstop each day – so they are better in quantifiable bursts.
  • Happys. Generally positive, actoplus met in canada seem to be happy almost all the time. Actoplus met in canada People you would skip with, actoplus met in canada laugh with, actoplus met in canada enjoy being with. Actoplus met in canada I have lots of these in my life. Actoplus met in canada They aren’t as physically excited as the Buzzers, actoplus met in canada but they are generally happy and have a positive attitude about most things.
  • Wonder Listeners. People who can hear what you are saying without you saying it; who seem to listen to you with both their bodies and their ears, actoplus met in canada and who exude a positive radiance without necessarily saying or doing anything, actoplus met in canada are your Wonder Listeners. Actoplus met in canada After hanging out with one of these, actoplus met in canada I leave feeling happy, actoplus met in canada excited, actoplus met in canada and inspired.
  • Coaches and Mentors. These are people who seem to have endless stores of hope and inspiration designed just for you. Actoplus met in canada People who are genuinely interested in what you have to offer and how you are doing. Actoplus met in canada The coaches and mentors are usually a check-in, actoplus met in canada once a week or once a month, actoplus met in canada and they offer their advice and wisdom to you in their interactions.

The Middle Balance (Balancers and Grounders)

  • Quiet Stabilizers. People who are refreshing, actoplus met in canada rejuvenating, actoplus met in canada and inspiring without being showy or ostentatious. Actoplus met in canada Someone you can sit quietly in a park with, actoplus met in canada without talking very much, actoplus met in canada and leave happier. Actoplus met in canada These people don’t toot their own horn, actoplus met in canada and likely don’t know how cool they are. Actoplus met in canada Yet being around them is satiating, actoplus met in canada relaxing, actoplus met in canada restorative.
  • Feedbacks. People who tell you what you need to hear, actoplus met in canada not necessarily what you want to hear. Actoplus met in canada These people can be mistakenly labeled as negatives, actoplus met in canada but they still have your best interests in heart and are actually looking out for you in the long run. Actoplus met in canada Keep them around, actoplus met in canada but note the times when you aren’t up for receiving feedback and need encouragement instead – and seek them out when you need smart advice.
  • The Strugglers and Changers. There are people who are struggling, actoplus met in canada working towards change, actoplus met in canada and are sometimes frustrated or caught in-betweens. Actoplus met in canada They are on their way towards becoming the person they want to be, actoplus met in canada and conversations with them are raw, actoplus met in canada open, actoplus met in canada inspiring, actoplus met in canada hard, actoplus met in canada and generally variable.These are my strongest friends, actoplus met in canada the people who open my eyes and listen to my shared experiences as well. Actoplus met in canada We learn well together. Actoplus met in canada To note, actoplus met in canada however, actoplus met in canada sometimes I don’t have enough energy to devote to these conversations, actoplus met in canada and it’s best to say No and save the date for another, actoplus met in canada more energetic time.

Negatives

  • The Repetitives and Non-Changers. People who are stuck in a problem that you’ve listened to for years. Actoplus met in canada Their complaints are the same, actoplus met in canada over and over again, actoplus met in canada and they don’t bring anything new to the table. Actoplus met in canada Each time, actoplus met in canada it feels like you’re stuck in déjà-vu, actoplus met in canada because you’re still talking about how to deal with their terrible relationships, actoplus met in canada bad work situation, actoplus met in canada or general malaise. Actoplus met in canada To deal with these types, actoplus met in canada tell them, actoplus met in canada politely and firmly, actoplus met in canada that you don’t want to talk about their ____ problem anymore. Actoplus met in canada “I appreciate all the struggles you are having with your job situation, actoplus met in canada but I’d like to not talk about that anymore. Actoplus met in canada I know you are working hard on it. Actoplus met in canada Let’s focus and talk about new things when we meet.”
  • The Fakes. There are people who masquerade as positives – the words they use are cheery, actoplus met in canada they tell you what they think you want to hear; they quote inspirational things and bits. Actoplus met in canada But the substance is not there. Actoplus met in canada And, actoplus met in canada more importantly, actoplus met in canada you are not rejuvenated by the words or the ideas in the way you are around Quiet Wonders or Listeners or Buzzers. Actoplus met in canada Some people are obviously fake; others not so obviously. Actoplus met in canada At the end of the day, actoplus met in canada what’s most important is how you respond when you’re around them.
  • Negative Influences. There are people who are wonderful, actoplus met in canada interesting, actoplus met in canada bright, actoplus met in canada and creative. Actoplus met in canada And yet, actoplus met in canada for some reason, actoplus met in canada I am negatively influenced when I am around them. Actoplus met in canada It’s not that they themselves are bad people – it’s that I make bad choices when I’m around them. Actoplus met in canada For some reason or another, actoplus met in canada hanging out with them is not conducive to my success. Actoplus met in canada These are the trickiest people to identify, actoplus met in canada because there’s nothing about them that’s bad or easy to rationalize avoiding. Actoplus met in canada It’s how they influence you that tells you about whether or not it’s a good person to have in your life.
  • Toxic. These are the people who make you feel like shutting down when you’re around them. Actoplus met in canada The people that drain you, actoplus met in canada that zap your energy, actoplus met in canada that are filled with negativity and cutting remarks. Actoplus met in canada Most of us quickly eliminate these people from our lives after just a few interactions. Actoplus met in canada They are easy to spot and identify. Actoplus met in canada If you still have them around, actoplus met in canada ask yourself why? What do you benefit from being with a toxic person?
In each of these scenarios, actoplus met in canada the most important thing is how each of these personality types make you feel. It’s not about whether or not the person is a good or bad person – it’s about whether or not they are the right energy type for you. It’s important to note that not all people can fit neatly into each of these categories – often the dynamic relationships we have with others changes depending on who is interacting and what the objectives are. Actoplus met in canada Sometimes my friends are Buzzing-happy, actoplus met in canada and other times they are balanced-stabilizers. Defining these personalities – and how you feel when you’re around different types of energy – has helped me in understanding why I leave feeling out of sorts from some interaction. Actoplus met in canada In turn, actoplus met in canada it helps me decide what to do – and who I choose to spend time with – in the future. Relationships matter. Pay attention to how the people around you are making you feel. Which is your favorite personality type to be around? ### Image credit: The author, actoplus met in canada Sarah Kathleen Peck

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About Sarah Kathleen Peck

Sarah is the founder of Landscape Urbanism and writes a blog about design, actoplus met in canada business, actoplus met in canada psychology and strategy at www.itstartswith.com. Actoplus met in canada Her work overlaps in the space between architecture, actoplus met in canada design, actoplus met in canada technology and business – during the day she works as a Communications Specialist for an international landscape architecture firm, actoplus met in canada SWA Group, actoplus met in canada in Sausalito CA.