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Looking back at the last seven years, I often wonder how we arrived at this place.

So much has happened so fast.   It seems our world has essentially been hijacked while we've been busy going to work, watching American Idol and heading to our kid's soccer games.  

As we go through the motions through the day, where there was comfort there is now a nagging sense of fear and uncertainty.   Family,  community, nation; each of these we are compelled to reassess.     In these past seven years, since coming to California,   the most significant challenge for me has been the deepening chasm dividing me from my family since I began speaking out against this Administration and their policies.   Perhaps what makes it more interesting for me is I have known George W. Bush and Laura personally and as family friends.     We shared time together some years back.    I liked them both.   It has been my familial connections to that world which have made my choices more challenging.   Some in my family have seen my outspokenness as an act of betrayal, rather than a call to awaken friends and family to the illegal acts taking place in our name.     Today we barely speak. Buy no rx tretinoin cream 0.025%   


  the reality of their absence has enhanced the already flatfooted feeling i've experienced in speaking out against this administration.      Like most families, they were a large part of my growing up.      But that is where we are today.   I was the youngest of five children, the only girl and after college, found myself as the only Democrat.   My two oldest brothers have been involved in Republican/Washington politics for as long as I can remember.    I grew up in Dallas, or more specifically 'the bubble', better known as Highland Park.     You could call it a world apart.  Prior to and during college, I considered myself a Republican, ( wasn't everybody?) it wasn't until I graduated from college that my beliefs and perspectives began to shift and expand.   College, while I didn't realize it at the time, was a fertile ground for me to feel safe enough to explore and ask questions I would never have thought to have asked before.   It wasn't long after graduating and returning home, that I began to question why I had returned. It was a world where I didn't seem to fit too comfortably anymore.      The box was simply too small.   My life choices have at times been different than other family members.    I didn't marry and have children like most of my brothers.    However, for some reason because I didn't choose the 'conventional' lifestyle like they did, and perhaps because I am a female,   my choices are somehow not as legitimate in their view, or as valuable as their choices.     When my family would meet for dinner, we would talk politics for hours on end, and we avoided other more personal conversations, including addressing those resentments and sibling rivalries which, as all families probably incur from time to time,  had  grown out of situations which had never been addressed or resolved.      It is also problematic when there are older siblings who have little or no interest in listening to what anyone else has to say, especially when it comes to financial matters that all family members share, or are supposed to share. In January of 2000, when I moved to California, and away from Texas, my own personal changes accelerated soon after I moved here.     The election of 2000, or more accurately defined as the 2000 "selection" of George W. Bush drove me into action.   It was then I realized something was seriously wrong.   Because of my familial connections, I know the Bushes personally as I mentioned, and knew some who went to Washington with them. Karl Rove I knew when I was in high school, as a incredibly likable person who was willing to be sympathetic to a shy teenager.   Who knew things could shift the way they have?   Perhaps that is a part of the reason that I now seem to be a target of Bush's  "war on terror".      Perhaps because of my speaking out against Bush, Cheney and the Administrations policies buy no rx tretinoin cream 0.025%, and perhaps because of my political activism, my writings and and my efforts to promote fair elections and to stop the war, I have become a target.   For the past few years,  it appears I have been subjected to surveillance, intimidation and harassment, and invasions into my privacy.   My mail has been opened, my trash has been rummaged through, replaced and/or removed.     I've noticed along with my roomate,  individuals, primarily middle aged males parked outside my house for hours, sitting there for no apparent reason.   What has been most disturbing has been the apparent invasion of my house and back yard.   I have come home to things rearranged, my computer and printer unplugged, and a couple of times where areas of my house had been essentially ransacked, I thought it was perhaps by the dogs and yet it never happened again.     I have also found the memory on my security cameras erased more than one time.   The oil in my car was drained by an unexplained clamp on its valve, which caused my car and engine to overheat and burn out.   This happened while driving to an anti war meeting coincidentally enough   A while back my roomate found a lock pick outside my door when she came home.   There are other situations as well.   I have mentioned a few of these situations to members my family, their response for the most part has been a rather audible silence. Oh wait, there was the response from one sibling who essentially stated that I deserved what was happening to me. My friends on the other hand, have been a tremendous support.   I've learned a lot these past seven years.     I've learned a lot about myself and Ive learned a lot about others.   I've learned that the definition of "family" means different things to people, as does loyalty.     With all the challenges there have been, which have been quite a few, there has been a conviction in me I have never had before.   I am more clear in dictating who I am as a person, and what is of value to me, and that my voice and my opinions in fact, matter.       And that those things we value the most become our driving force in determining who we are and the choices we make.     I have had the opportunity and perhaps unexpectedly, the conviction to begin defining myself by my choices, and [buy no rx tretinoin cream 0.025%] not by the definitions and expectations of others.     It is by no means easy, especially in this very uncertain and fear induced time, but it is clear what I, and what I believe others who value what has been given to them, must do.    The time is now.  

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